Is there something missing from this talent vs. hard work dynamic — Joy?
If you're going to put in a lot of hard work, it's gotta to be something you enjoy doing or enjoy having done. There are going frustrations you need to push through and failures you need to get past. That's hard to deal with if you don't like something about the process or results.
This doesn't change the advice given — try things, work hard, be tenacious, commit — but could help explain why you'd put in all this work. Though you could just be delusional and think it's something you want. That probably works too.
Reading this makes me realize that one of the issues caused by a narcissistic parent is the talent vs. effort praise: a narcissist LOVES to see talent in their kids, because it seems like a reflection on them. But they couldn't care less about whether their kid is putting in their own effort. That is something I have to overcome as an adult now (who was "talented/smart" enough to just coast through school)
Like many people who write about this, you have a giant blind spot. While innate affinity (talent) and consistent work are obviously factors, the biggest factor is LUCK. This includes privilege, childhood economic situation, personal networks, gifts, access to quality healthcare etc... all of these factors are mitigated by LUCK, randomness, and it completely shits on the myth of merit.
I can’t relate more as a former burn out in college guy in Japan!
Allow me for bragging a bit but
I really was an insufferable dipshit when I was a senior at high school, scoring 99.95 or so percentile for SAT equivalent in Japan while bragging about how few hours I have spent on studying.
But in retrospect, it was just I spend few hours in senior, and I did not hate math and I actually even liked studying social studies! And my parents had me pick up English from pre school, which also helped a lot in Japanese exam system.
I was so arrogant that I thought all of them were bc of my natural talent. I also thought like how rare of a talent I was - but no, even with that score, it just means there are 30k or so more “talented” ppl on the planet in *my generation* - and the competition after getting an adult is not really limited to your generation either.
I was too much of a dipshit to keep grinding after college and I completely flopped afterwards while retaining a cheap pride of “talented kid” lol
Is there something missing from this talent vs. hard work dynamic — Joy?
If you're going to put in a lot of hard work, it's gotta to be something you enjoy doing or enjoy having done. There are going frustrations you need to push through and failures you need to get past. That's hard to deal with if you don't like something about the process or results.
This doesn't change the advice given — try things, work hard, be tenacious, commit — but could help explain why you'd put in all this work. Though you could just be delusional and think it's something you want. That probably works too.
Nice try, 99% percentile SAT guy
Reading this makes me realize that one of the issues caused by a narcissistic parent is the talent vs. effort praise: a narcissist LOVES to see talent in their kids, because it seems like a reflection on them. But they couldn't care less about whether their kid is putting in their own effort. That is something I have to overcome as an adult now (who was "talented/smart" enough to just coast through school)
" Consuming content - video games, social media scrolling, Netflix shows"
Substack articles!
Good stuff, thanks for this.
Like many people who write about this, you have a giant blind spot. While innate affinity (talent) and consistent work are obviously factors, the biggest factor is LUCK. This includes privilege, childhood economic situation, personal networks, gifts, access to quality healthcare etc... all of these factors are mitigated by LUCK, randomness, and it completely shits on the myth of merit.
I can’t relate more as a former burn out in college guy in Japan!
Allow me for bragging a bit but
I really was an insufferable dipshit when I was a senior at high school, scoring 99.95 or so percentile for SAT equivalent in Japan while bragging about how few hours I have spent on studying.
But in retrospect, it was just I spend few hours in senior, and I did not hate math and I actually even liked studying social studies! And my parents had me pick up English from pre school, which also helped a lot in Japanese exam system.
I was so arrogant that I thought all of them were bc of my natural talent. I also thought like how rare of a talent I was - but no, even with that score, it just means there are 30k or so more “talented” ppl on the planet in *my generation* - and the competition after getting an adult is not really limited to your generation either.
I was too much of a dipshit to keep grinding after college and I completely flopped afterwards while retaining a cheap pride of “talented kid” lol
Galaxy brain take: you either have a talent for working hard or you don’t