Weekly Scroll: Beyoncé didn't show

DNC conspiracies, more Republican weirdness, Demure posting and a Reddit win

Welcome back to the Weekly Scroll, your recap of the week that was on the social internet.

Republicans keep being weird

For the first year of Infinite Scroll, I kept things mostly divorced from politics. But I’m basically giving up on that for the next three months - it’ll be impossible to describe what’s happening on social media while ignoring the upcoming US presidential election. And that’s why it’s my duty to inform you that JD Vance has once again done the weirdest thing possible.

Why 'Weird' Works

Republicans have been not been happy about being called weird, protesting that accusation with far more vigor than they protest being called racists or insurrectionists. But to use a southern phrase, hit dogs holler:

The above video is astounding, but if you can’t watch here’s a transcript of Vance’s recent visit to a donut shop in Georgia:

Vance: “I’m running for Vice President”

Female worker: “Okay”

…(long pause)…

Vance: “How long you worked here?”

Female worker: “Since the beginning of July...”

Vance: “Okay…”

Female worker: “…of this year.”

Vance: “Okay good…and you?”

Male worker: “Almost two years.”

Vance: “Okay… How long has this place been around?”

Male Worker #2: “Four years.”

Vance: “Okay…good.”

This man has no idea how to interact with other humans. I’m beginning to suspect he’s never met one. When ordering the actual donuts, he asked for ‘whatever makes sense’ like he’s a goddamn alien trying to figure out a human custom he doesn’t understand.

Republican attacks on Vance’s counterpoint, Tim Walz, don’t seem to stick. Probably because Walz is capable of interacting with humans and seeming likeable. The last week of attacks on Walz have focused on his love for video games, and that his son gets emotional and loves him. Great work guys.

Meanwhile, Trump spent most the Democratic National Convention rapid-fire tweeting like a dementia patient on speed, using AI fakes to imply Taylor Swift supported him, and was getting endorsed by RFK Jr - who somehow had a second bizarre animal corpse story come out this week.

I don’t think they’re beating the weird allegations.

Misinformation on X

Speaking of the DNC! A rumor began to circulate early Thursday that a secret ‘special guest’ was coming to the DNC. Given that politicians like Barack Obama, Bill Clinton and Joe Biden were all on the official schedule, there were really only a handful of people that could be important enough to warrant this level of surprise. Taylor Swift was an early guess, but the internet’s collective hivemind eventually settled on Beyoncé. People were very sure this was happening. TMZ breathlessly confirmed that Beyoncé would perform. After beginning Thursday around 25%, prediction markets shot up to 98% on the question of ‘Will Beyoncé perform at the DNC’?

It didn’t happen. There was no secret guest, Beyoncé didn’t perform, and the whole thing was a mirage. And while this episode was ultimately inconsequential, it’s an interesting look at how misinformation on X works.