70 Things (and counting) Blamed on Capitalism

Plus: 18 things that can save us from capitalism

This is an ongoing and frequently updated list. If you see people nonsensically blaming things on capitalism, leave a comment with a link and the list will updated.

For a fuller theory behind why everyone seems to blame capitalism for everything, see Ugh, Capitalism

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Why is there no life on Mars? Capitalism

Why did the dinosaurs cause havoc in Jurassic Park? Capitalism

Why can’t you make friends? Capitalism

Why is it annoying to do meal prep? Capitalism

Why are Mondays stressful? Capitalism

Why does fast casual food come in bowls? Capitalism

Why do I have to pay to sample music? Capitalism

Why are teens depressed? Capitalism

Why did a state owned and operated oil company light the ocean on fire? Capitalism

Why are most people monogamous? Capitalism

Why do people care about their baby being their own offspring? Capitalism

Why are you uncomfortable in plane seats? Capitalism

Why does John Wick kill people? Capitalism

Why do workers have too much bargaining power? Capitalism

Why do workers have too little bargaining power? Capitalism

Why are you lonely? Capitalism

Why do people think you’re boring? Capitalism

Why do you spend time on your hobbies? Capitalism

Why aren’t people having kids? Capitalism

Why do incels exist? Capitalism

Why are you bad at sex? Capitalism

Why are you mentally ill? Capitalism

Why have video games gotten worse? Capitalism

Why can’t you sleep? Capitalism

Why does the United States have a high crime rate? Capitalism

Why are so many homes painted beige? Capitalism

Why don’t you have beautiful artisan furniture? Capitalism

Why haven’t we cured Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s? Capitalism

Why do people enjoy astrology? Capitalism

Why don’t people truly love each other any more? Capitalism

Why are orcas attacking ships in the Mediterranean? Capitalism

Why are there so many movie reboots? Capitalism

Why do some people get Long COVID? Capitalism

Why do James Bond movies always have a catchy pop song? Capitalism

Why do industrial accidents happen? Capitalism

Why does scarcity exist? Capitalism

Why are some people transphobic? Capitalism

Why do people like treats (but in a bad way)? Capitalism

Why are people afraid of AI? Capitalism

Why does fraud exist? Capitalism

Why does child abuse happen? Capitalism

Why does America have so much gun violence? Capitalism

Why won’t people purchase my art? Capitalism

Why isn’t your apartment building beautiful? Capitalism

Why does sexual harassment exist? Capitalism

Why are your allergies bad? Capitalism

Why do you have a beard? Capitalism

Why is romance dead? Capitalism

Why do people like Japanese Jazz Fusion music? Capitalism

Why do people pet the cats at the cat cafe? Capitalism

Why do casinos build flashy displays? Capitalism

Why is adoption always evil? Capitalism

Why do people plagiarize? Capitalism

Why are we distracted by conspiracy theories? Capitalism

Why are books too long? Capitalism

Why did your favorite anime get cancelled? Capitalism

Why do you have to wake up early to go to work? Capitalism

Why is there a crowd to see the Mona Lisa? Capitalism

Why do people rush to reserve pool chairs? Capitalism

Why are some folks insecure? Capitalism

Why do people believe in ghosts? Capitalism

Why do people travel for vacations? Capitalism

Why do trans people exist? Capitalism

Why is there a mental health crisis? Capitalism

Why is the spam filter on your email wonky? Capitalism

Why is Taylor Swift dating Travis Kelce? Capitalism

Why is America getting meaner? Capitalism

Why do people rake their leaves? Capitalism

Why is it annoying when you have to charge your phone? Capitalism

Why did Israel and Palestine agree to a ceasefire? Capitalism

Things That Will Save Us From Capitalism

Fancy Lettuce will save us from capitalism

Cookies will save us from capitalism

Hobbies will save us from capitalism

Architectural Designers will save us from capitalism

Taking Pictures will save us from capitalism

Ice Cream will save us from capitalism

AI will save us from capitalism

Astrology will save us from capitalism

Holistic Farming will save us from capitalism

Community gardens will save us from capitalism

A TV show about a 13-foot tall man will save us from capitalism

Cyborgs will save us from capitalism

Board Games will save us from capitalism

Fan-fic will save us from capitalism

Cafes will save us from capitalism

Interior decorating will save us from capitalism

Roguelike video games will save us from capitalism

Charlotte’s Web will save us from capitalism